50652

Joke of the Day

"Want to piss your girlfriend off? Text her ""He's busy."" and turn off your phone."

"I got a facial tonight by hovering over the boiling water before throwing in the mac n cheese."

"What's the difference between a kid and a cat? Who has the diploma when you get rid of them."

"A funeral procession led by a woman and her pit bull. There are TWO hearses. ""The Widow"" by Katy Franco [Joke-A-Tini]. Funny and fun to watch. http://youtu.be/2B7Acry2pms"

"I've bought up all the Scrabble games I can get my hands on. I heard there's a lot of money in text tiles."

"Why are condoms like cameras? -they both capture the moment."

"While everyone is pre-occupied with the reddit CEO/admins/FPH ban, don't forget what's really important The New England Patriots deflated their footballs."

"Why don't Jews eat pussy? It's too close to the gas chamber"

"You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail."

"Democrats are the sexiest party... Because no one wants some elephant"