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Joke of the Day

"I've got two part time jobs. I'm a boxer, and a warm up act at the comedy club. I read between the punchlines."

"I just found out that my pillow has a better sex life than me It gets head every night"

"They should just draw a fart on the car A/C ""recirculate"" button."

"Why did the library book go to the doctor? It needed to be checked out; it had a bloated appendix."

"All work and no play... .... makes Abraham Lincoln a full term president. Im going to hell."

"What did one white cop say to another white cop? Another black man bites the dust."

"My girlfriend got an abortion She said she didn't want another sister to compete with."

"Why are you being weird about how we made eye contact and both smiled and then I took the form of an actual bat and chased you for 11 miles"

"just got mad that firefox was telling me that satan was spelled wrong but turns out it just wanted me to capitalize it and show some RESPECT"

"Paul is coming over tonight Paul smith or Paul who puts ketchup on everything? [car pulls into driveway covered in ketchup]"