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Joke of the Day

"I went to the Zoo today but they only had one animal and it was a dog... It was a shit zoo"

"What do you call it when a fruit studders? A peach impediment."

"I hear that in Star Wars 8 they're going to introduce Han's perpetually depressed younger brother... His name is Y Solo."

"They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs."

"What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going."

"Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play."

"Oh, I almost forgot; my mom told me to tell you guys hi."

"Sorry, ladies; I've never had a period. Can't relate. Had a semicolon once, after being hit by a bus, so I feel like that was pretty close."

"Low self esteem group meeting Please use the back door"

"What's black on top and white on the bottom? rape"