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Joke of the Day
"The guy who stole my diary has died. My thoughts are with his family."
Next Joke
"A fat guy walks into a bar [deleted]"
"Why does Naruto vomit after every meal? He's **BULIMIC!**"
"If Claudia Schiffer married Brains from The Thunderbirds, she would become Claudia Schiffer-Brains. Claudia Shit for brains."
"A tornado is about 5 minutes away and our satellite is out. I hope our house lands somewhere where the cable works!"
"How do you spell Canda? C,eh,N,eh,D,eh"
"I saw my calculator hitting on someone the other day. He's a real casionova"
"How do you make the spying NSA frustrated?"
"[fleeing the bank we just robbed] accomplice: play it cool this time, okay? me: GOD I HATE CRIME YOU GUYS police officer: alright he's clear"
"[Bar] HER: I want to have sex so badly ME: [trying to impress her] I am so bad at sex"