50187

Joke of the Day

"Why did the Indian pedophile miss work? He was feeling a little Sikh."

"What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite"

"What did the sign in front of the Drug Rehabilitation Center say? Keep off the grass."

"[office meeting] BOSS: Printer ink is costing us a ton. Any ideas on how to cut costs? SQUID: *looks up from phone* Why y'all lookin' at me?"

"There's a difference between having a unique name and a regular name that's spelled wrong."

"You people that are getting laid regularly either need to keep that stuff to yourselves or be more descriptive."

"*golf pro picks up his ball and eats it* *audience claps politely*"

"If life hands you lemons, ask it why it has hands."

"A programmer's wife sends him to the store for a loaf of bread. On his way out she adds, ""and if they have eggs, get a dozen"". He returns home with 12 loaves of bread."

"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."