201423
Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my radioactive isotopes... Really hot and completely unstable."
Next Joke
"Would you like to hear a Helen Keller joke? So would she."
"My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been."
"What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6.022x10^23 pieces? Guacamole."
"What do you call a fish with no eyes? fshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
"""We just want to find someone who will-"" *sly grin* -Finish our sentences? ""Exactly."" -death row inmates"
"*Pauses Titanic during the most romantic part* *Turns to GF* ""You know, Contra was really easy. But I still liked using the 100 life code"""
"What breaks every time you give it to a toddler? Their pelvis."
"""NO YOU'RE DRUNK,"" she says playfully into the mirror, then promptly resumes disappointing her boyfriend's mom at family dinner."
"Did you hear? LeBron James is starting an underwear line... They're called LeBron Johns."