5

Joke of the Day

"Why can't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box. Heyooooooo"

"I hate spiders ...but I respect the Daddy Long Leg. The Daddy Long Leg has a very special ability, the ability to make ANY man, regardless of age, say the word daddy."

"What do you call it when the girl you like likes you back? Imagination"

"A beekeeper talks about the dangers of his job. ""Of course you have to be carefull you won't get stabbed by one of those creatures, but that's a part of living in a multicultural society."""

"I feel like trying new things in bed. Like getting up for instance."

"Why was jesus great at rock climbing? He could find foot and hand holes"

"My mom yelled at me when I said I have never used a condom. Then I told her it was because I'm a virgin at 24 years old. So, my dad yelled at me instead."

"What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees? All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite..."

"Me (to 7): Son, we... Wife (in earpiece): have to talk M: Have to talk W: about girls M: About grills W: NO M: NO W: IDIOT M: IDIOT"

"If you're going to insist I get you a wedding gift, then I'm going to insist you bail me out when I get caught shoplifting it."