49870

Joke of the Day

"I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you."

"With a stolen credit card, who WOULDN'T go straight to Wendy's to get 2 Double Stacks and a small Sprite? So thanks for asking for ID, lady."

"I should start to buy, slaughter and sell baby camels that way I can sell young camel toe."

"Whats the difference between 3 big black cocks and a joke? Your mum can't take a joke"

"OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then."

"My wife told me she wanted to see a huge diamond for her birthday So I took her to a baseball game"

"So a pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender asks him why he has the wheel on him, and the pirate replies ""YARR! IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS!"""

"Condoms are like rules... ...they're made to be be broken."

"Romantic comedies are just horror movies where people only die on the inside. Also, my wife doesn't let me pick movies for date night."

"What do Trump and an Aluminum can have in common? They easily get bent out of shape..."