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Joke of the Day

"Romantic comedies are just horror movies where people only die on the inside. Also, my wife doesn't let me pick movies for date night."

"Guys, stop with the vagina jokes. Period."

"Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand? San Diego (thought of this myself, it's better spoken)"

"According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me."

"Im not a lawyer But I do have a small private firm right now."

"What do windows feel when they get hurt? Pane!"

"What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic? Going inside and asking for a coat hanger."

"Aren't you too fat to be this rude?"

"why did the computer go to the cafe?, and who is the king of the classroom? to get a byte, and the ruler!!! my one sub teacher tells absolutely terrible jokes everytime we have her!"

"I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, ""Got any shoes you're not using?"""