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Joke of the Day

"Jurassic Park (1993): An old man with ungodly amounts of money doesn't have any common sense."

"Now I really am just like Christine O'Donnell (not a Senator)"

"My doctor had a plate of McDonalds food that was a year old to show people that it never rots. The burger was dry but the fries were decent."

"Whenever I see a whirlpool, I scream, ""Help! That tornado can't swim!"""

"What does a racist get for their birthday? KK-cake"

"When asked by the creepy guy at the bar ""Why aren't you smiling?"" my go-to answer is always ""My yeast infection really is bubbling up."""

"A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. So the bear says to the rabbit: ""do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"" The rabbit says no. So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit."

"Starbucks job interview: ""What's your name?"" ""Alyssa"" ""Spell that please"" ""L A R I S S A"" ""When can you start?"""

"[Heaven] Saint Peter: Welcome to the pearly gates! You're here early; you must be dying to get in! LOL Me: Too soon..."

"What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween? Happy halloweenie"