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Joke of the Day

"A joke my Google pixel told me Two fish are in a tank and one says to another,""how do you drive this thing"""

"What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint? Shake N' Bake."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard."

"My grandfather told me that during the war he was exposed to irritants like pepper spray and mustard gas. Now he's a seasoned vet."

"Why are crabs always tired? Because they sleep in snatches."

"Her: Oh no, I've lost my jacket.. Me: *appears from the shadows* (whispers) you left it at the restaurant *slinks back into the shadows*"

"It's not my fault that I'm lazy. It walks in the family."

"When a cop pulls you over, never start a sentence with, ""This may be the alcohol talking, but..."" Trust me on this one."

"Reddit is like a shiny new penny Its nice to look at but completely worthless"

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It may take me a while to get hardI just got laid last night."