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Joke of the Day

"What does Snoop Dogg eat? Beets by Dre."

"The furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand..."

"Your x-ray showed a broken rib, but we fixed it with photoshop."

"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"I wanted to try Heroine the other day... But for as long as I tried, I just couldn't fit the courageous female rolemodel into my syringe."

"I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. *my eyes hide a whoopie cushion behind my skull*"

"Today is the coldest day of the year... And the warmest, shortest, longest, driest and most wet."

"I've been arrested for robbing a bank dressed as a frog. It's the first time I've ever kermitted a crime."

"What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates? Cheapskates getting cheap skates"

"I remember Pandora back when it was called your dad trying to find a song he liked on a road trip."