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Joke of the Day

"Your x-ray showed a broken rib, but we fixed it with photoshop."

"I broke up with my girlfriend, Ruth.. Now her friends call me ruthless. EDIT: Got hacked. Password and emailed changed, this post was changed to something else for a brief period by the hacker."

"The reason why the current season of GoT is not so good as the last one ... because my wife said so."

"I wrote a Haiku Poetry is hard Like Mr. Jared Fogle At a kid's party"

"Yes, I've been in love before. I've also had salmonella poisoning and you don't see me running back for seconds."

"How do you milk a sheep and make a profit? Remove the audio jack"

"I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone was."

"I stopped going to my colorblind therapist. He could never tell when I was blue."

"*Me, getting my arm bitten off during a zombie apocalypse* 5: *crying* Me: It's okay, son. 5: You said you were gonna get me a snack."

"*Jesus emerges from tomb* Wow was that 3 days? Holy cow. I was marathoning The Wire. You guys seen this?"