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Joke of the Day

"Getting laughs on Facebook is like going down to the elementary school and dunking on the six foot goals."

"Where does Vladimir keep his shit? In a Putin"

"I make fun of people Instagramming their food, but I forget that, during the Renaissance, lots of artists were just painting bowls of fruit."

"I submitted several play on words to a competition, hoping one will bring me victory.... Unfortunately, no pun in ten did"

"The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, ""Happy Birthday"" just to get cake."

"Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe !"

"Why can't a bicycle stand with out a kick stand? It's just two-tired."

"What's the Difference between a cactus, and a BMW? A cactus has the prick on the outside."

"So I bought an elephant for my friend's room the other day. When I gave it to her, she said, ""Thanks."" And I said, ""Don't mention it!"""

"Why was Jimmy so excited to go to Clown College? He got a fool scholarship."