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Joke of the Day

"Getting laughs on Facebook is like going down to the elementary school and dunking on the six foot goals."

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"Where does Vladimir keep his shit? In a Putin"
"I make fun of people Instagramming their food, but I forget that, during the Renaissance, lots of artists were just painting bowls of fruit."
"I submitted several play on words to a competition, hoping one will bring me victory.... Unfortunately, no pun in ten did"
"The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, ""Happy Birthday"" just to get cake."
"Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe !"
"Why can't a bicycle stand with out a kick stand? It's just two-tired."
"What's the Difference between a cactus, and a BMW? A cactus has the prick on the outside."
"So I bought an elephant for my friend's room the other day. When I gave it to her, she said, ""Thanks."" And I said, ""Don't mention it!"""
"Why was Jimmy so excited to go to Clown College? He got a fool scholarship."