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Joke of the Day

"I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case."

Next Joke
 
"[arrives at sales meeting with giraffe I bought last month] ""Ok, did everyone bring a graph tracking your activity this month?"" ME: uh oh"
"A pedophile, a necrophiliac, a pyromaniac, and a zoophile walk into a bar. The bartender says ""Get the fuck out."""
"Have you seen my digital boat? Oh wait, its syncing."
"I asked my chemistry teacher if we can revise oxides Because im a bit rusty"
"Never bring a toasted sandwich to a senior's gym Or else you're going to have 40 people thinking they're having a stroke."
"Future generations will never believe Sarah Palin was a real person."
"What do crossfitters call their trainers? Fairy WOD-mothers."
"What lottery did the broom win? The sweepstakes."
"WHAT DO YOU CALL A FAILURE? donald trump"