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Joke of the Day
"What's a pedophile's favorite shoe? White vans"
Next Joke
"haha how about we make a pact if we're both single in 6 seconds we get married?? haha look how nervous u are. times runnin out tho"
"wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink"
"Web Designer: ""Making my shit responsive, is a pain in the ass"" friend who is a web designer dropped that ""gem""."
"I apologize and Im sorry mean the same thing... Except when you're at a funeral."
"I don't care how hardcore you are. If you don't cry when Dumbo visits his mommy in elephant jail, you have no soul."
"""I'm quite content on this side of the street, thank you."" -- No squirrel ever."
"What do you call a cookie without legs? A cookie"
"[blind date] Her: so do you go on a lot of dates? Me: *sucking the gravy from my plate* a lot of first ones."
"""Now officer, hear me out: alcohol is a depressant and cocaine is a stimulant. Therefore, mixed in equal parts, I'm basically sober!"""