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Joke of the Day

"The milkman A man comes home to his wife and says 'apparently the milkman has slept with every woman on this street except one', his wife replies 'I bet it's that stuck up cow at number 12'"

"I've been waiting for this moment ever since I got up... goodnight!"

"Did you hear about Joan Rivers? When they died, they realized she was an organ donor. They used the plastic to make toys for the orphan children."

"Movies Lesson #5: very few people die while trying to get from one hotel room to another using the ledge outside, so give it a shot."

"[leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you wouldn't have heard of it"

"No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here."

"Every time I post,, I get a rush like I'm releasing a little animal into the wild... A hideous, deformed animal that no one will ever love..."

"I bet ""Fifty Shades of Grey"" won't make that much money because most of the people who want to see it are tied to a bedpost."

"Don't trust atoms They make up everything"