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Joke of the Day
"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind"
Next Joke
"Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]"
"Stop Hammertime"
"Can't remember the last time I said Happy Birthday using my actual voice."
"I'm not saying it's hard for me to lose weight, I'm just saying if you interrupt me when I'm eating I'm starting over."
"My ex didn't realize 'cheat day' only meant he could eat whatever FOOD he wanted."
"Did you know that truth serum us derived from an animal? It comes from the Tattlesnake!"
"Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my shit together & yet still insult me for being full of it?"
"A man with OCD and a man with ADHD walk into a bar... Everything explodes."
"A Pirate walks into a Bar A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his belt buckle. The bartender says ""what's that on your belt buckle?"" Pirate says ""Arrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"""