146308

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay? One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date."

"Michelin, Triangle Shirtwaist, and Brian Williams. ""Name a tire, a fire, and a liar."""

"There are two types of men in the world... Men that pee in the sink Men that lie"

"Why a woman doesn't make sense to a man... Actually they make 77 cents to a man."

"Am I financially wealthy? No. But am I rich when it comes to relationships, happiness, and experiences? Still no."

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere"

"I like to push the ""stop time"" button on the microwave and walk around in slow motion until my wife calls me an idiot."

"I used to do drugs... i still do, but i also used to."

"[Walking around park with kid] Daughter: Daddy, why is grass green? Me: Because God wants to remind me I have no money everywhere"

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd write a tragedy about the fate of the single French fry that comes with every order of onion rings."