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Joke of the Day

"Why are most weather forecasters men? Because when they promise a foot, you know you're only getting three inches."

"If I got a dollar, for every time I think of you. I might start thinking of you."

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining."

"When I send someone email instructions that end with ""Let me know if you have trouble,"" I'm really saying, ""Let me know if you're an idiot."""

"ME: My cat isn't overweight; she's just big-boned VET: This is a dog"

"What's the difference between the Holocaust and a goat? You can't milk a goat for over 50 years"

"Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie? It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because there is a fucking dead horse inside of it."

"What does a girl want more than anything in the world? Nothing. She's fine. Edit: Wow guys. Thanks so much for the upvotes, the hilarious comments and I finally got my 1st gold!"

"Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut the fuck up and dramatically lower your standards!"