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Joke of the Day

"So I visited www.optrex.co.uk... That was a site for sore eyes."

"What do you call a discounted Zuckerberg? Marked down!"

"I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes."

"What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round."

"How do you pick up a Jewish girl? With a dust pan."

"They say there's a lot of fish in the sea but I can't hold my breath long enough to have sex with them."

"How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn? China probably can pop corn in one minute."

"I fell off my bike 3 days in a row Its a vicious cycle I tried."

"How do you shut Donald Trump up? Muzzle-im"

"What's the fastest way to get to a woman's heart? A knife."