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Joke of the Day

"There's 4 and a half inches of light snow outside ...or as most the men on Tinder would have me believe, 8 inches and really thick."

"When is being an ""Alpha"" not a good thing in the dating world? When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well."

"Inspecting mirrors.... ....is a job I can see myself doing."

"How is the world like a bag of jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones."

"A man enters his house with a duck under his arm and says ""See, this is the pig I've been screwing"". ""What do you mean? That's not a pig."" his wife replies. ""I wasn't talking to you""."

"Life and Coffee I like my life like I like my coffee, as dark as it can possibly get."

"After learning about the Oedipus Complex... ..it was a parent who I was attracted to. *Edit apparent to a parent. This joke is terrible written. Sorry."

"What are facts about canines we must believe? Dogma"

"I went to the park earlier to play frisbee with me dog. It was shit! I think I need a flatter dog."

"Why did.. Q : Why did Manchester United go to Stamford Bridge? A : Four Nothing"