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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I want to make a joke about short people But I don't want to stoop to their level."

"I'm currently trying to remove all Cancers. Then I'll move on to Virgos."

"I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich. This one just told me i was adopted :("

"Had a terrible nightmare last night... I dreamt that I was forced to eat two huge marshmallows. When I woke up this morning, my pillows were gone!"

"""I had the worst Cruise ever."" - Katie Holmes"

"Pretending you're dead to avoid conversation in the hospital is the worst way to learn how a defibrillator works."

"When is it okay to kick a midget in the balls? ...When he tells you that your wife's hair smells good."

"What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking!"

"The Whale was uneasy. ""I'm afraid Jonah is not satisfied with his accommodations"" said the whale. ""What gave you that idea?"" queried the octopus. ""Oh, I have inside information"" said the whale."

"Why do bald guys cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."