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Joke of the Day

"My wife is like a Mermaid Below her pelvis, she smells like fish."

"Why is Ironman a superhero? and Ironwoman a command?"

"The other day i walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's dick. I just find it weird why it wasn't cremated with the rest of him."

"I explained gluten allergy' to my grandma and she sighed and told me they ate leather belts during WWII to keep from starving"

"Some days I'm more on than off, but most days I'm just a moron."

"Played twister with my kids and now hold the world record for saying, ""That's not your left foot"" a billion times."

"""Hot damn!"" - the Nazi's probably after their dams were destroyed. I don't know; I'm not a historian. It's just an educated guess."

"How do most rappers build a following? They go shopping at a department store."

"Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The Bartender asks ""Do you want a drink?"" Descartes says ""I think not,"" and *poof*. He's gone."

"Osama bin laden *ji had it coming.* - Jimmy Carr ""Big Fat Quiz 2011"""