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Joke of the Day

"apparently math tests aren't like pregnancy tests and peeing on them IS FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT."

"I used to be an adventurer like you But then I took crippling adult responsibilities."

"I'm tired of women touching and playing with it but no one wants to blow it. Damn vuvuzelas!"

"If I was a farmer the first thing I'd do is have a meeting with the roosters & cows & tell them to wake up around 9:30 instead of 5."

"Why should you never let a non-metal drive a train? Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)"

"Old MacDonald was dyslexic H-R-T-Q-P"

"Britain should have written a break up note ""It's not EU, it's me"""

"Mom: I think I'm gonna make a twitter Me: Mom it costs like $500 a year... Mom: That's expensive I'll stick with Facebook Me: Aww too bad"

"What's the name for a person that only gives massages to men? A massagonist."

"Say what you want about pedophiles! At least they slow down in school zones."