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Joke of the Day
"I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things."
Next Joke
"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"
"Did you try turning your relationship off and then back on again?"
"I love how Xanax spelled backwards is retard"
"I finally figured out what I wanna be when I get older...........................Younger!"
"Our cats aren't enjoying the 90-degree heat. But I refuse to apologize for climate change until they apologize for pissing on the carpet."
"Found my 16yr old daughters Twitter today, made her deactivate it...after I copied all of her best material to my draft folder of course"
"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan."
"Did you hear about the guy who designed the monorail? He had a one track mind."
"i like when people call cheap liquor ""rot gut"", implying that more expensive liquors wont also ravage their guts with harsh chemical solvent"