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Joke of the Day

"If you are American when you go into the bathroom and American when you leave, what are you when are using the bathroom? European"

"What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive..."

"I practiced cursive for years in elementary school & my electronic bank signature still looks like it was signed by a drunk monkey."

"The light above my desk is going out. I feel like I've been at a really boring rave for the last 7 hours."

"OUT OF ALL THE BIKES ON THIS BIKE RACK, THIS ONE'S SEAT DEFINITELY SMELLS THE WORST."

"Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day."

"I'm going to the inaugural meeting of the Dodgem Car Appreciation Society later. They're expecting a bumper crowd."

"What do Jews in Nazi Germany and children at Penn State have in common? They're both afraid of showers"

"Today I connected all the freckles on my arm with a Sharpie. It spells out RIKSHAZ9LIRK. Clearly I am The Chosen One."

"""Super Faggot"" is a terrible nickname for a baby."