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Joke of the Day
"If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!"
Next Joke
"Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move. Convincing her she's a robot is called bladerunning... It's a Phillip K. Dick move."
"it's always the wrong ex who gets drunk and messages you a million times about how much he loves you."
"My ex-girlfriend... Bent my car's hood,but it was my fault a little bit too I was just a little bit over the legal speed."
"My legal team is advising me to get jiggy with it."
"People like it when girls shake their boobs and butts in public, but when I spin my penis in a circle, people call me a ""Sex offender"" and tell me ""Don't do that in public parks."""
"How long have I been working for this company? Ever since they threatened to fire me."
"What kind of operating system do horses use? None. Horses are not known to use operating systems nor computers for that matter."
"What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird"
"My therapist advised me to feed and water my kids and cook my plants 3 meals a day. And something about listening."