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Joke of the Day

"My first time having sex... was like my first time riding a bike, with my dad holding me from behind"

"Those who dont discriminate sexually are called bisexuals"

"The part of the Harry Potter movies that I found most unbelievable was that mostly unsupervised teenagers never had wild keg parties."

"The average person swallows 3 cats on their drive home from work."

"Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work don't worry, he's fully recovered"

"I was kicked out of mime school once. I hadn't put the safety lock on and my finger guns went off. The whole class took cover in their boxes"

"4:*calls thing wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*repeats wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*maintains eye contact and repeats wrong name slowly"

"A Priest, A Pervert and A Pedophile Walks into a Bar"

"Show me on this Georgia O'Keeffe painting where the bad man touched you."

"My wife was shocked when she came home from work last night. I'd wired the door handle to the mains."