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Joke of the Day

"They say 'No news is good news,' but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy."

"How is a Buddhist monk and a bumblebee alike? They are both peaceful, but when pissed off have a tendency to burn."

"I like to write all my death threat letters in Comic Sans. I find it lightens the mood."

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9? Because Windows 7 8 9."

"My girlfriend thinks I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet."

"Why did everyone hate the window? He was a pane in the glass! Credit: 12 year old me"

"It's pretty rude how they'll kick you out of the hospital just for using a defibrillator to make a grilled cheese sandwich."

"I had a roommate, but he was ran over by a bus... Now I have a flatmate."

"Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear? Because he was Russian."

"IAmA dyslexic government computer programmer, AMA! Whoops, wrong usb."