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Joke of the Day

"Google News now awards ""Badges"" for viewing stories. Also, remember: if you manage to finish one novel without pictures,...you get ice cream!"

"Wherever you go, hold your head high like you actually did something with your life at some point. It fools most people."

"What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft? Halfway."

"What is a ducks favourite drug? quack"

"How do pigs talk? Swine language"

"My 10 year old: ""If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first."" Me: ""What?"""

"My dad told me that no one Really needs Heroin in thier Life I think my dad is sexist"

"What do you call an airplane's cockpit if it's staffed by female pilots? The Box Office."

"I left my girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting... I wonder what she's up to now."

"With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed? A sea-saw"