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Joke of the Day

"Scientists discovered a kind of dinosaur that could only see moving bodies. They named it 'Doyouthinkitsaurus?'"

"When I was in college, I used to have sex almost EVERY DAY... ...almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday..."

"If they give you a bib for lobster, they should definitely give you a diaper for Indian food."

"What did the armless warrior say to his opponent before battle? You're about to meet da-feet!"

"I'm boycotting terrorism From now on I'm drinking all of my whiskey neat, no more ISIS"

"I can really only think of one thing worse than genocide. Jews."

"Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale."

"knock knock Who's There? Do you ya Do you ya who? No, It's 2014 I use Google"

"[Target cashier stares at my fingerless gloves] Ah, couldn't help notice you were admiring my hand vests."

"Ok so the Past, the Present, and the Future walked into a bar. It was tense."