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Joke of the Day

"Not to brag, but I can still fit into my high-school girlfriend."

"What does Stalin do on a night out? Paints the town red"

"What's the difference between broccoli and a booger ? little kids won't eat broccoli ."

"If i could have dinner with anyone alive or dead i would probably just cancel on them at the last minute"

"Why do I only see lesbian couples holding hands? Aren't their hands clammy enough as it is..."

"Does anyone remember Gotye? Now he's just somebody that we used to know"

"What did the sphinx say? What did the sphinx say when he found out the pharaoh caught him up in a pyramid scheme? Egypt me!"

"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey But then I turned myself around. So that's what it's all about."

"I like my women like I like my dick... ...kept in a dark place and taken out to be beaten every once in a while"

"Two condoms are walking down the street... ...they pass a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""wanna go in there and get shitfaced?"""