48035

Joke of the Day

"Remember, people only rain on your parade because they're jealous of your sun & tired of their shade."

"Let's get a thread of jokes that are funny to hear, but don't work if you read them I'll start: What do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh!"

"Nurse walking down a hallway reaches into her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer... She says, ""Great, some asshole's got my pen."""

"I recently got a device that can remotely slow down any car And as an added bonus it shows me what speed they're going at too!"

"Customer: ""It says I've performed an illegal operation and will be shut down. Have I done something wrong?"""

"The women protest movement this weekend was historical. I've never seen so many women have PMS on the same day."

"Two clowns are running for public office... It's funny for me though because I live in Canada."

"What's the difference between a barrel rider, and a can of Copenhagen? You can only fit 3 fingers in a can of Copenhagen."

"TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub."

"Now I can't wear my nude crystal dress this weekend. Thanks, Rihanna."