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Joke of the Day

"I love you my friends and that's not just the beer talking. It's from the bottom of my bottle of wine too."

"To save a bit of money on e-cigarettes I've started to roll my own batteries."

"I'm white but I'm not ""exterminate or enslave millions of indigenous peoples then rewrite history into a bullshit heroic narrative"" white"

"My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA"

"I've put something aside for a rainy day. It's an umbrella."

"Teacher: What is the unit of energy? Students: Yes!"

"Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights.... Like he's a Muslim or something."

"User interface? I hardly even know her."

"What is the best way to make your dick look and feel really big? Fuck a toddler."

"How do telepaths have an orgasm? They get their mind blown"