47899

Joke of the Day

"(From my 7 year old) Why should you never give Queen Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."

"As I see it, the act of lovemaking should be sacred, caring, and worth the 200 bucks I charge for it."

"[Cat Businessmen] ""Geez, Phil, you look exhausted. Being a new father is tough, huh."" *sighs* I only got 16 hours of sleep last night."

"Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?"

"My friend told me I didn't know the meaning of 'ironic', which was ironic because we were at a train station."

"What do you call a fishermans newborn? Fresh bait"

"Tower: Shamu two-two please state estimated time of arrival. Pilot: Ok let's see... I think Tuesday would be nice..."

"If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times does he become disoriented?"

"If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?"

"How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well? She was shouting for help."