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Joke of the Day

"I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra. Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?"

"My wife is such a bad cook,if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves."

"So, I heard a celebrity was stabbed the other day... It was Reece something... Reece... Witherspoon? No, with a knife!"

"If you received a blow job from a toothless Japanese woman, Would you call that oralgumi?"

"the people who make lyric videos on youtube are the backbone of this nation"

"How do you figure out that your girlfriend is getting too fat? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes."

"Bigfoot, an alien, and a Pilgrim walk into a bar. I need a punch line."

"I don't like Haikus; But I like ironic twists I am conflicted"

"[first date] HER: I really like you ME: I like you too HER: So did you bring protection? ME: *gesturing to my bodyguard* Yeah, this is Tony"

"I found out about Forrest Gump while looking into Fitbits. He was the best of all the running aids."