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Joke of the Day

"I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"

"[opens jar of olives and pours them in my garden] ""Now grow to be a restaurant"""

"What did the King say to the pawn shop owner you are my pawn go fight for me but in a line no moving around."

"How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub? 100\. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is."

"I'm starting a nightclub to cater to people infected with AIDS It's called ""Hi Five"" in Roman Numerals (HIV)"

"All men are the same This phrase was invented by a Chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd."

"If you're in a clown posse, you don't need to tell us you're insane. We know. Nobody's thinking you're an emotionally stable clown posse."

"What Pokemon gave Nintendo cancer? Pokemon Uranium"

"I was reading in the news that a dwarf got pickpocketed... how could anyone stoop so low"

"Can someone please wake up Billie Joe Armstrong?"