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Joke of the Day

"Kid 1: Hurt my elbow School Nurse: Here's an ice pack K2: *fever* SN: Ice pack K3: *diarrhea* SN: Ice pack K4: *decapitated* SN: Ice pack"

"Rob Zombie is a good musician but also a great way to make money when the undead rise from their graves"

"What do you call a sleeping pizza? a *piZZZa* haha someone pls date me"

"If Hilary Clinton is elected president, what title will they give Bill? First Lady's man (;"

"What's the difference between a collection and an addiction? I don't have an alcohol collection."

"Lawn Sprinkler What do you call four Mexicans, one Chinaman, and three Blacks standing in a yard? Lawn sprinkler. ""Spick spick spick spick, chink, nigga nigga nigga."""

"Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?.... ..because they've got a lot on their mind."

"How many dead babies does it take to confuse a blond woman? to get to the other side...."

"four years ago I asked out the woman of my dreams. Today I asked her to marry me!!! She said no both times."

"Instead of being buried or cremated, I've arranged to be liquidized. I'm not going to a funeral if I can't get drunk."