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Joke of the Day

"I've done some calculations, and I figure, that at my current rate of pay I could live happily for the rest of my life. If I died tomorrow."

"The French I can speak fluent french, watch this... ""I Surrender"""

"The U.S. presidency is like my ex. Anyone can get in."

"What do choosy moms choose? abortion."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side."

"So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. I said 70. I know you were expecting a joke, but I want to pass my exams."

"What's the worst part about cumming in 2 mintues? Spooning."

"Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing? MT (empty) ."

"How do you confuse a Jew? Tell him pork is on sale!!!"

"You don't really know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them."