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Joke of the Day

"I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download & install Firefox up to three times faster."

"I saw a midget carrying a TV out of Best Buy I asked, ""Hey, do you need help with that flat-screen?"" He replied, ""Fuck off, this is a Kindle!"""

"I found a rating for the Sun online. It was only a star."

"Learning karate in case I'm ever attacked by cinder blocks and wood planks."

"Finally looked up from my phone screen and noticed I'm being passed around by the crowd at a Blink 182 concert."

"My girlfriend said I treat her like a little girl. So, I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself."

"Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool"

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter a dick up your arse."

"I like the phrase bury the hatchet because it implies someone was trying to resolve an argument with a fucking hatchet"

"Ladies. Even the most mundane chore is better in a Princess Leia costume."