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Joke of the Day

"I just found out that they offer college courses on how to be a janitor... Apparently it's some pretty tough shit."

"[at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!"

"Anal, Something I'd get behind!"

"The first time I got up close and personal with a girl was round the back by the school bins. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't looked into that rubbish bag."

"""First gay marriage. What's next - people marrying dogs?!"" *nervous glance at dog Dog: Frank, we've been over this. I like you as a friend"

"My girlfriend laughed at me for having an existential crisis at 17. Jokes on her. She doesn't even exist!"

"The reason iPad has no camera is that there's no way to take a good pic while laughing at how goofy you'd look using it as a big ass camera."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I'v never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean on my face"

"Have you seen www.amnesia.com? Sorry I just can't remember."

"Why don't Canadians wear tank tops? They don't have the right to bare arms"