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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who serves smelly drinks? a Fartender"

"I'll always remember my dad's last words on his death bed: 'Son, what are you doing with that pillow?'"

"I asked the local prostitute if she could do something kinky so she put a set of jumper cables up my ass... Don't get me wrong, I liked it, but I couldn't believe how much she charged me!"

"I used to think love() was abstract, until you implemented it in MyHeart."

"Did you hear about the new restaraunt on the moon? It's got great food, just no atmosphere.."

"What happens when you cross a grown kitten, a donkey, and a champion? A cat-ass-trophy."

"Right before I left the house my wife asked me if I filled out my organ donor information and now I'm hesitant to start the car."

"What do you get when you mix a donkey & a onion? A Piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye"

"It's incredible how many movies and tv-shows use Sandstorm by Darude in their soundtracks. YouTube commenters have been surprisingly helpful sourcing this information."

"My wife nominated me to do the ice bucket challenge. I'm a little confused. Has anyone else been asked to hold a toaster at the same time?"