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Joke of the Day

"Why is cowgirl my girlfriend's favorite position? Because she says I'm only good at fucking up."

"How did you get your girlfriend to have sex with you while she was on her period? Let's just say I pulled some strings."

"What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese ? He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath !"

"What's Captain Picard's favorite game system? N-Gage"

"Tomorrow is Fathers Day. I heard iPad accessories are the big thing for Father's Day this year. I got my dad a leather case, a screen protector and a new charger. If he ever gets an iPad he's all set."

"Food wedding anniversaries: Year 1: champagne 2: strawberries 3: chocolate 4: donuts 5: protein shakes 6: microwave meal 7: Rat poison"

"FUN FACT: All kitties share a common ancestor, whose name was ""Snickerboots Fancybasket."""

"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the states."

"Now that Scalia, the bullfrog of SCOTUS, has passed away... Can we say he finally croaked?"

"My ex told me that Gaga's ""Bad Romance"" song reminds him of me. Now I'm glad I dumped him. What sort of idiot admits to listening to Gaga."