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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the octopus stop laughing? Because it had ten tickles"
Next Joke
"[on a 1st date] Me: I'm just looking to take things slow Her: *in a wedding dress* me too"
"What do you call salesman with a lisp? Rodger. He's the one with the lisp, not you, so why would you call him anything different?"
"Computers can beat us at go and chess, but we can still kick their asses at kickboxing."
"""I'll have a rum and coke"" Is pepsi ok? ""Sure whatever"" *hands you a pepsi and coke*"
"I'm in one of those weird marriages where we still have sex every day.. With each other!"
"Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the jaw, it's decendents are known today as giraffes."
"That awkward moment when you accidently knock a 90 year old over trying to get to the buffet first."
"My girlfriend treats me like a god Now if I can only get her to stop being an atheist."
"What was Hitler's last two words? Oy Vey!"