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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman? Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder... of someone else, who isn't quite as absent."

"If there isn't an open bar at my funeral then count me out, I'm not going!"

"If you used to be transgender but aren't anymore.. would that make you a transformer?"

"There ain't enough tailgatin' in this country. Folks would like workin' and schoolin' more if they could tailgate in the parkin' lot first."

"Why is Harry Potter so popular? The story grows on you."

"Marriage If I answer a question and my wife isn't around to hear it, am I still wrong?"

"I've never had a beard and don't know if I like it, but it's growing on me. I'll go now."

"I can teach you to write in steps. I call it stair-case...."

"What did the police officer say to his stomach? I've got you under a vest."