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Joke of the Day

"Dryer settings: - not the least bit dry - shrunk to barely fit 12 yr old you"

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"Engineers What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets."
"whats black and burns? stevie wonder answering the iron"
"My favorite part about the debate tonight!!! Was at the end...when it ended...and it was over."
"Why is Congress like a cold? Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no's (nose)."
"[Romeo and Juliet as turtles] ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath JULIET: I'm just stuck on my back R: we're turtles, Juliet"
"What do you call a math teacher who's really into BDSM? A denominatrix."
"What do you call Central Florida? The DMZ. Disney Militarized Zone."
"So I got a phone call from the post office today... ...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them ""It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike""."
"The iPad Air is named after what's left in your bank account when you buy one."