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Joke of the Day

"Turning on a hotel shower: making you feel mildly retarded since 1947."

"Say what you want about North Korea, but... something something /r/Pyongyang"

"Scientists are now saying they may never discover what LinkedIn is for."

"When should you buy a bird? When it's going Cheep."

"I met this guy who said he was a Mir Space Station cosmonaut. But I thought it was quite an achievement."

"I got my family banned from playing Family Feud today. The category was ""Describe your sex life with a Spongebob quote"" and apparently ""ARE YOU READY KIDS?"" was not the right answer."

"Second attempt How to survive in Russia in 21 century?"

"It seems women are not content with just being women these days. First there was Beyonce with ""If I was a boy"" now there is this Bieber chick with ""If I was your boyfriend"""

"If you catch a Gecko by it's tail... If you catch a Gecko by it's tail, it will detach itself from it and grow a new one. A lot like Hillary's political policies."

"Me: Baby I know you had a long day so I drew you a bath Her: Ah I can't wait to take it *hands her paper* Me: I used your eyeliner pencil"