46965

Joke of the Day

"How do you separate two blind people fighting? You just simply shout: ""I'm supporting the one with the knife!"""

"I left work yesterday at 4:59 instead of 5:00 I was technically leaving early, but the difference was minute."

"My favorite sex position? Boy there's so many to choose from. Ha Ha. *starts sweating* I'd have to pick, um, reverse...shortstop? I gotta go"

"Hey, thanks for defining the word ""many"" for me... It means a lot."

"*standing behind home plate* -Beware of my dog-like reflexes. -Shouldn't it be cat-like reflexes? *catches baseball with my face*"

"What is the sexiest type of dolphin? A striped tease dolphin."

"That moment when the woman you're dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, then you realize she just lost an earring... and that no one else in Starbucks can hear your iPod."

"Fifteen years ago I asked my high school crush out on a date, yesterday I asked her to marry me... ... She said no both times."

"This summer, a rom-com dares to ask the question, ""Can a 9 date an 8?"""

"*Gets divorced* *Deletes 'actress' from LinkedIn profile*"