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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people in the world: Those that divide everything into two categories, and those that don't."

"I need a short joke about something being so loud..""This thing is so loud it..."""

"The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth."

"911: What's your emergency? Me: Are you guys hiring? 911: This is an emergency line. Me: No shit. Why do you think I'm calling?"

"Oscar Pistorius really wanted a new bathroom door but his girlfriend was dead against it."

"Craigslist is useful until you need a list of people named Craig."

"Who do you call when you need a dock fixed? A docktor."

"In a hurry? I'll tell you a joke about my penis. It's short."

"Someone stole my pencil sharpener and now I can't stab people anymore."

"Young people of today will never know the joy of having a cassette stuck in the car stereo & listening to the same 12 songs for 20 years."